Tales from the Closet
by Speedie
Summary: Funny short stories about my favorite Marauders, Padfoot and Prongs. These began as RPG's that Sabrina and I did over YIM, but they're funny anyway.
1. Before you begin

Before you go on...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Keep in mind that these stories were once RPing conversations that Sabrina and I did on YIM with our favorite Marauders, Padfoot and Prongs.  
  
  
  
  
  
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Sabrina's Characters:  
  
Sirius- the one and only... Padfoot!  
  
Saby- her RP self  
  
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Shelbie's Characters:  
  
James- Quidditch stud, and a tad bit slow in the head... Prongs!  
  
Shel- my RP self... very close to my real self... a dumb blonde!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The name "Tales from the Closet" comes from our first RPG we ever did on YIM. I've lost it though, so I can't add it on here... Sabrina and I may recreate it someday, but until then, we'll leave you guessing. 


	2. The Star Wars Escape

Shel: *has been thinking for a minute* James, you need contacts  
  
Saby: Where did THAT come from? XD  
  
James: -_-  
  
Shel: I don't know...^^ I was thinking of the Sims I guess, he looks better without glasses  
  
James: I still look good in glasses though ^^  
  
Shel: yeah, but you look better without  
  
Saby: That's not good, saying he would look better a different way....  
  
Shel: why?  
  
Shel: *looks embarrassed now* it's just saying...  
  
James: No, it's not good  
  
James: I look good how I am  
  
Saby: It's just not.....  
  
Shel: *shuts up*  
  
Sirius: *staring into strobe light* Whoa......  
  
Sirius: *continues to stare at strobe light*  
  
James: Erm...Padfoot you might want to stop  
  
Sirius: *looks crosseyed* What?  
  
James: It could damage your eyesight and make you have to get glasses and "Look bad" *glares at Shel*  
  
Saby: *snatches strobe light away really quickly after Prongs' statement*  
  
James: I really look that bad then?   
  
James: Well, maybe I should just go sit in a dark corner until I die then.  
  
Sirius: *giving Prongs "a look"*  
  
Saby: Don't you look at him in that tone of voice! XD  
  
James: XD, yeah really Padfoot! *glances back at Shel*  
  
Shel: *looks like she feels bad because she does, but doesn't say anything*  
  
Sirius: *puts on glasses and starts acting goofy*  
  
James: XD  
  
Sirius: *takes them off*  
  
Shel: sorry James. -_-  
  
James: good  
  
Saby: That's not very nice either.... "Good" how about, it's ok? XP  
  
Shel: yeah really...  
  
Sirius: lol  
  
ames: oh well  
  
Shel: fine. whatever.  
  
Sirius and Saby: *roll their eyes*  
  
Shel: *throws up hands and glares at James* You know what, James? Get off my account. Go to the other room or something... or at least away.  
  
James: Fine! *leaves*  
  
Sirius: Oooh!   
  
James: *and slams the door*  
  
Sirius: Geez we sound like those people who gasp and stuff when someone goes to the office... XD  
  
Saby: Yeah, we do  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Sirius: *doesn't know what to do since things are now kind of serious*  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Sirius: ....you know, Prongs is a hot headed person....  
  
Shel: yes, he is  
  
Shel: but so am I, so oh well  
  
Shel: sucks to be him I guess  
  
Saby: lol  
  
Shel: heheh..  
  
Sirius: *tries to pull open the door* HEY!!! STUPID PRONGS LOCKED US IN HERE!  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Saby: Oh well  
  
Sirius: Alohomora! *door knob explodes and door is still locked*  
  
Saby: O.o  
  
Shel: that can't be good  
  
irius: Argh...he hexed it. XP And I need to use the restroom!!!!!!  
  
Shel: XP that was lovely...lol  
  
Saby: lol  
  
Saby: better find a way out then huh?  
  
Sirius: XP  
  
Sirius: *runs at door, hits it and bounces across the room* Well he made the door rubber too. XP  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Sirius: *tries taking the hinges off but they are magically glued in*  
  
Sirius: Prongs.......  
  
Shel: is smarter than we give him credit for I guess  
  
Sirius: XP  
  
Sirius: Fine. *goes towards the window and finds out there are metal plates covering them*  
  
Sirius: AAHHH!!!!  
  
Shel: XD this is almost funny  
  
Saby: yeah  
  
Saby: XD  
  
Sirius: *goes to the attic hatch* Heh, I can get out! *it's locked too* &@%# IT!!  
  
Saby: Looks like you need a Door in a Jar. XD  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Sirius: XP  
  
Shel: can you not apparate yet?  
  
Sirius: NO!  
  
Shel: I mean, you aren't supposed to but... lots of people learn anyway  
  
Shel: like driving a car, you know  
  
Sirius: We still have to work that out!  
  
Sirius: It's a lot tougher than driving a car  
  
Shel: I figured  
  
Sirius: *transforms a baseball bat into a Jedi Lightsabre* Two can play this game. *melts the door down*  
  
Shel: O.o  
  
Saby: *claps* I hope you're getting another door.  
  
Sirius: Hahaha. XP *looks at lightsabre and transfigures his clothes into Jedi clothes* Might as well *grins*  
  
Saby: XD  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Sirius: hehehe *transfigures Saby's clothes and hair to look like Princess Lea and transfigures Shel's clothes to look like Queen Amidala's*   
  
Sirius: As soon as I find Prongs, he's going to suddenly look like a certain wookie. XD  
  
Saby: Chewy!  
  
XD  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Shel: Chewy is cool though... make him someone different  
  
Sirius: I guess he can be Darth Vader  
  
Shel: XD  
  
Shel: "Luke! I am your father!"  
  
Sirius: since he ends up with Queen Amidala anyways  
  
Sirius: lol  
  
Shel: I wonder if we can get him to actually say that?  
  
Sirius: lol, we can try  
  
Shel: That would make you two James' and my kids? O.o  
  
Sirius: Eww, I can't be Luke. I'll be Han Solo, so I can be with Princess Lea  
  
Saby: *grins*  
  
Shel: Then you need a space blaster thingy... Han isn't a "Force" person  
  
Sirius: yeah, *changes weapon*  
  
Shel: lol... this is funny...  
  
Saby: Yeah  
  
XD  
  
Shel: So, I'm supposed to be like way older than you two?  
  
Shel: Actually I am supposed to be dead. GASP  
  
Sirius: Err, mere technacallity... it doesn't have to be THAT accurate  
  
Shel: XD Alright  
  
Shel: So I don't have to play dead, right?  
  
Sirius: yup  
  
Sirius: Otherwise you would have to be C3PO or something XD  
  
Shel: XP  
  
Shel: lol  
  
Sirius: Ok.. I guess we have to get Darth Vader now... XD  
  
Shel: XD yip...  
  
Saby: i need a weapon though  
  
Saby/Lea: I mean, Lea got a blaster.....  
  
Sirius: yeah *gives her a blaster*  
  
Sirius/Han: Want one Amidala?  
  
Shel/Padme: Yeah  
  
Padme: we aren't going to kill James are we? XD  
  
Han: *makes one* here you go  
  
Han: Nah, they're set to painful but not kill  
  
Han: *runs around the corner outside the room and motions Lea and Padme to follow him* ((hehehehe))  
  
Padme: *follows*  
  
Lea: *follows also*  
  
*takes out locator device* He's in the living room.  
  
Han: Ok, we'll transform him, then we'll battle.  
  
Padme: Sounds good..  
  
Lea: Got it.  
  
*they sneak up on Prongs who is watching ESPN*  
  
Han: *transfigures him into Darth Vader* XD  
  
James: *sounds like Darth Vader and is wearing his suit thingy* What the hell?!  
  
Oh my God, I sound funny  
  
O.o  
  
Lea: XD  
  
Han: FIRE! *shoots at him*  
  
Lea: You'll never get us, neither will your evil Republic, Darth Vader!  
  
Han: You will never get the seperatists, Darth! And I DON'T like being frozen! *shoots at him more*  
  
Darth: O.o OW! Oi!!!  
  
Darth: *pulls out lightsaber* You die Solo!!  
  
Han: *keeps shooting* Never!!! You killed Luke's father!!! XD  
  
Lea: You killed my father!!!  
  
Padme: You killed my son!!! XD  
  
*gets strange looks from Han and Lea*  
  
Padme: Sorry, I am a blonde... what I meant to say was... YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND  
  
Darth: Well, you won't have to miss him much longer  
  
Lea: Oy you dork!!! DIE!!!  
  
Darth: YOU die!!!  
  
Han: No YOU die!!!  
  
Padme: Yeah, Darth, DIE!  
  
Darth: All three of you are gonna die!!!   
  
Not me!  
  
sLea: I'm still angry that YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!!  
  
Darth: Lea!........ I am your father!!!  
  
Lea: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Darth: Yes, it's true. Join the dark side and fight with me.  
  
Lea: Never!  
  
Darth: Then you shall die!  
  
Han: You will NOT touch her. *growls and shoots*  
  
Darth: *deflects shots*   
  
Han: Lea! Padme! Cover me while I set my gun to stun!  
  
Lea: *shoots at Darth*  
  
Padme: *blink* Anakin? What happened to you?!?  
  
Han: *sets gun to stun*  
  
Lea: XD  
  
Darth: Anakin is dead...mwahaha  
  
Lea: Yeah, what happened Dad?  
  
Darth: I got OLD!  
  
Han: XD *shoots at Darth* The Dark Side shall NOT prevail!!!  
  
Darth: Yes!! It shall!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Darth: *deflects shots again*  
  
Lea: *sneaks up around Darth and starts shooting*  
  
Darth: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo................!  
  
Han: *stuns Darth*  
  
Darth: oof *passes out*  
  
Han: Yeah! We saved the galaxy!!!!  
  
Padme: Yay  
  
Lea: *kisses Han*  
  
Yay!  
  
Padme: Well... what now? XD  
  
Padme: How long are we gonna leave him knocked out?  
  
Lea: I don't know  
  
Han: We can tie him up and then unstun him....  
  
Padme: Yeah, we can...  
  
Padme: *summons rope*  
  
Han: *ties him to a chair*  
  
Padme: lol... it looks like we're going to interrogate him  
  
Han: lol, yeah  
  
Padme: *gets out wand* Lumos! *shines light on Darth's face even though he's knocked out* *says in mock detective voice* Where were you on the night of the 15th?  
  
XD  
  
Lea: It helps if we unstun him first... XD  
  
Padme: I was pretending...  
  
Han: Ennervate!  
  
Darth: *rubs head* *grumble grumble* What the--?  
  
Lea: Go ahead Padme  
  
XD  
  
Padme: *grabs the nearest chair and sits backward on it* Tell me Darth... WHERE were you on the night of the 15th?  
  
Lea: lol  
  
Darth: I'm here, aren't I? *looks confused*  
  
Han: Don't give us sarcasm, Darth, we don't appreciate it. XD  
  
Darth: I'm tied to a chair in a room with a light shining in my face!  
  
Han: Before that!  
  
Darth: Watching TV  
  
Han: What were you watching?!  
  
Padme: I don't recall asking what you were doing!!!  
  
Darth: *looks really confused* I was watching ESPN  
  
Han: Ah HA! GUILTY!!!  
  
Lea: O.o XD  
  
Padme: he admits it!!!  
  
Darth: I admit to what?!  
  
Lea: MURDERER!!!  
  
Padme: That you did it! You admit you're guilty!!!  
  
Darth: I'm not a murderer! And what am I guilty of?!?!  
  
Han: Killing thousands of seperatists and locking us in a room!  
  
Padme: Exactly!!!  
  
Darth: When did I do this?  
  
Padme: Over the years  
  
Lea: Ever since you turned to the Dark Side  
  
Han: Poor Bounty Hunters. -_-  
  
Darth: Well I remember locking you guys in a room...   
  
Han: Ah HA!!  
  
Darth: *grins* It was me! I did it!!! I admit it!!! It was ALL me!  
  
Lea: As we suspected...  
  
Padme: .....  
  
Han: We have found YOU, Darth Vader, guilty! You will now have to carry out your sentence!  
  
Darth: What exactly am I sentenced to?  
  
Padme: *sigh* Death  
  
Darth: O.o  
  
Han: Oy Death! Get in here!  
  
Joe Black: You called? ((Meet Joe Black XD))  
  
Han: Yeah, can you sentence Darth Vader for us?  
  
Joe Black: Sure. I sentence you to getting me more peanut butter!  
  
Lea: Not again....  
  
Darth: I can't I'm tied to this chair!!  
  
Joe Black: Then you'll have to sit there, forever!!!!  
  
*leaves*  
  
Padme: Mwhahahahaha  
  
Lea: *evil grin*  
  
Darth: Where's my wand, anyway??  
  
Han: Wand? You have a lightsabre, but we took it away.  
  
Padme: You know what could be good?  
  
Lea: Hmm?  
  
Padme: *goes and gets peanut butter but keeps it*  
  
Lea: XD  
  
Padme: If we do this...*sets it just out of Darth's reach*  
  
Lea: LOL  
  
Han: Muahahhaahahahaah!!!  
  
Darth: You people are evil!  
  
Padme: -We- aren't the one's who've killed people and locked up our best friends now are we?  
  
Darth: I don't know what you do with your free time!!  
  
Han: Where's Chewy? *looks around* Could use him right about now.....  
  
Lea: O.o We do LOTS with our free time!  
  
Padme: Lots of things that don't involve killing people..  
  
Lea: Or locking them up. XP  
  
Padme: Well, technically we locked him up *points to Darth*  
  
Lea: true...  
  
Darth: Ah ha!!  
  
Lea: but he desearves it  
  
Padme: also true  
  
Chewy: *walks in*  
  
Han: CHEWY!! Where have you been?  
  
Chewy: *starts talking in wookie language*  
  
Han: Ok, well we need you come here.... See him? That's Darth Vader.  
  
Darth: O.o  
  
Han: Hey Darth! Wookies don't like the Dark Side. *evil grin*  
  
Chewy: *walks over to Darth*  
  
Darth: O.O!  
  
Chewy: *takes off Darth's helmet*  
  
Lea: AHH!!! GASP  
  
Padme: XP  
  
Han: CHEWY STOP!!!! It's hideous!!!  
  
Darth: HEY!!!  
  
Padme: Honestly...XP  
  
Chewy: *shoves helmet back on backwards and leaves*  
  
Darth: *mumbles something that is blocked by the helmet not facing the right way*  
  
Lea: .......  
  
Padme: *kicks him* Shut up, Darth  
  
Han: Three, two, one... ok, forever is officially over XP  
  
Lea: good, he was getting boring  
  
Padme: Yeah...  
  
Han: *takes off the binds and transforms everyone back into normal*  
  
James: What was that all for?!  
  
Saby: Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.  
  
Shel: It was for you being a git is what it was for...but yes, it was fun while it lasted  
  
Sirius: Long story, short.... I used a lightsabre to get out of the room and decided to make this into Star Wars to get you back. XD Yeah, it was fun  
  
James: Oh...I see. XD 


End file.
